


Pages of Paige

by panther



Category: Charmed
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:32:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3814048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panther/pseuds/panther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Wyatt gets older the sisters return to normal activities like sitting up with drinks and chat but for Paige, it is getting to be too much. The specter of Prue still haunts her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pages of Paige

The way she wriggles out of the window and clambers her way up onto the roof is something she has not done in years but somehow her limbs remember the way to do it and she finds herself perched above the back yard staring down at Piper's rosebushes. She house below her is full of life and Piper and Phoebe's laughter drifts up from the kitchen. They are drinking a bottle of wine and while Piper also brought in some alcohol free stuff for Paige she doesn't feel like she can face them tonight. A detached feeling has been growing in the pit of her stomach and she does not think that she can ignore it anymore. 

Wyatt now sleeps through the night and so sister time is more common and it just makes it more obvious that for Paige something is missing. Leaving her work to become a full time witch and take the weight off the others has had its perks and its falls. She is more than grateful for the financial help Piper gives her and the roof over her head but she cannot help feel that she is locked out of a dynamic that is meant to feel more familiar by now. She is once again plagued by the idea that she is meant to be Prue's replacement and she is failing to live up to it. Prue would be down there with them having a drink. Prue would not be a recovering alcoholic. Prue would vanquish demons and contribute more to the house. Prue would have developed a new power by now. Prue would be far more than Paige. 

Her sisters never realise what they do. Jokes about their childhood and silent smiles when Grams is mentioned and Paige being introduced to old acquaintances as 'our other sister'. She is another sister but she wonders why she can't just be their sister, their long lost sister, their sister who was adopted at birth. Other just seems to put her to the side. If Prue had not died she would never have known her family and they would have been happy without her. They were happy without her. The Powers That Be sent Phoebe to her, not their own mother. She may have kept it a secret the whole time. Sometimes she thinks of herself as the spare bolt. 

Pulling out an unopened packet of cigarettes and an old rusty lighter Page lights up her first cigarette in years. It is a bad habit but when who she is now does not seem to fit her skin the old her might feel a little more comfortable so cigarettes and rooftop despair it is. She had tried to find her family but of course there were no leads. Anger surfaces now and then. Their mother died and her powers were bound. Instead of drinking himself into a state why did her father not clip his wings and raise her himself? Clearly he had no intension of helping another charge and Paige could have used some help. There are so many ways he could have made his way into her life. Anger turns to guilt. No, her father would have disrupted a happy family. Her parents were wonderful and she still misses them horribly yet she cannot help but wonder if her runaway teenage years were partly due to having dormant magic she did not understand, emotions she could never connect to anything. Grams could still help her sisters. 

No one helped Paige. Hell, even now no one really helps Paige. There were a few pointers in the beginning but now she is left to do it herself. Phoebe says they had to do it that way. Piper's stories remind Paige they were not chased by the source when they did it that way. They faced low level blinking warlocks and Paige has never seen anyone blink in her life. They do not think a lot of the time. 

It hurts.

"Page?! Paige, what on earth are you doing up there? Get down before you fall and break your damn neck!"

"Leo could heal me."

"Paige!" Piper roars and given how important not attracting the neighbour's attention is Paige sighs, stubs out her hardly touched cigarette and clambers are way down into the tulips. Piper looks unimpressed for a second before it is replaced with concern. "What were you doing up there?"

"I needed to think." Paige mutters and it is true but Piper still frowns.

"I just came out to turn the sprinklers off. Your shadow game me a fright and then some. Come inside. It is cold."

It is June and so very not cold but Paige allows Piper to usher her into the kitchen anyway where they find Phoebe wrestling a bag of ice out of the freezer for their wine. 

"I used to love sitting on the roof. Prue used to have a coronary." Phone chuckles while adding cubes to discarded classes. Paige physically collapses in on herself, shoulders drooping and her eyes falling to the floor. Phoebe notices immediately. "Ok wow. Sit down. What is wrong, sweetie?"

"Nothing I'm fine."

"Yeah, we are not buying that for a second." Piper states as she pulls another bottle of wine for her and Phoebe and Paige's to go with it. A second later a third glass is on the counter and Piper is pouring her a glass without ice without thought. She is the only one who doesn't take ice with her white and Piper knows that. Somehow Paige feels worse. Her eyes well up.

"Paige?" Phoebe asks quietly, guiding the youngest sister into a chair and dropping to her knees in front of her, hands on Paige's thighs as a sign of support. 

"I'm...I'm not Prue."

Phoebe tilts her head, opens and closes her mouth, glances at Piper and then "Of course you are not. You are Paige. And we love you."

"But I'm not _her_. I never will be." Tears are silently sliding down her cheeks now and when she blinks them away Piper is on her knees beside Phoebe.

"No one wants or needs you to be her, sweetie. You are Paige, our baby sister, and we love you for you. What brought this on?"

That only makes Paige howl harder. Something has been broken, something that has built for over a year and never been truly talked about. Barbas came and went. 

"I can't be her! I'm not as good a witch! I don't grow in my powers like her, I don't balance work and witch like her, I can't share in your memories like her. I'm a replacement. I'm the spare part to keep the car running! I'm only here cause I'm needed to fight demons!" She throws her hand and hands onto the table after that and bawls into the pinewood as her sisters share distressed looks. 

Piper shifts from foot to foot and then shoves Phoebe out of the way so she can wrap her whole body around Paige from behind. Guilt sits low in her belly. She did everything wrong when she met Paige and she regrets every second of it. 

"Paige...you met us at the worst time of our lives. You saw the worst of us and I was the worst _out_ of us. But that does not mean we do not love you. I thank magic every day for bringing you into our leaves and I can never understand why mom never told us about you. We could have known you and protected you even if you did not have your powers. Paige, Prue would have adored you. You are the perfect mix of fun and serious and thinking and winging it. You're perfect for us."

"Paige, we share our memories so that you can feel close to Prue too, so you can get to know her a little and Grams as well. I don't have so many of mom, hardly any really but we just want you to feel part of this, part of us. I'm sorry if we hurt you." Phoebe finishes by wriggling her way around both sisters, an arm around Piper and the rest of her pressed against Paige as best she can, if only to _be there_. 

"I can never replace her."

"You do not need to. Not ever. Just be you."

"Me is a little broken. I cannot even have a drink with you guys."

Phoebe snorts and pulls away. "You put something in a glass and then you swallow it. That is all we need. We all have our problems. Prue spent two decades or so scared to say 'I love you'. I went off the rails, taking drugs and shop lifting and well...think of how you met Piper. We love you for who you are, not because of it and not in spite of it. All of it."

"But not my little rocking chair." Paige responds with a weak smile.

Phone puts a hand on her hip and points at Piper. "I had nothing to do with that."

"Snitch!"

Paige laughs and closes her hands over Piper's. "You're sure? I'm enough?"

"More than enough."

"I think I will have that drink now. Besides, your ice is melting."

"Yeah, yeah. We can talk about this more whenever you need to hun but I think you are done for the moment. Fancy swapping embarrassing teen stories?" Piper queries as she pulls away.

"Yeah, I think I can do that."


End file.
